H

Hackers Watch Antitrust instead.
Halfbaked Classic stoner movie. Hilarious from start to finish.
Halloween Meh...
Halloween: H20 Pure shit.
Hamlet I guess it's a good as Shakespeare can get on the screen...
Hancock First Half: Second Half: Great first half that might have just been stretched to the length of the full movie with maybe an interesting B story to beef it up. Takes a total 180 when a certain plot point occurs and the shit fest begins. Vague origin stories, conflicting rules about the guy's powers, just a retarded shift in tone. It goes from a hopeful jaded hero type story to a shitty Lifetime Original. Don't see it unless you hate yourself. Or... or just watch the first half. Then do yourself a huge fucking favor and turn it off. TRUST ME ON THIS.
Handmaid's Tale, The The book is a million times better, this doesn't do it justice.
Happily Never After ENOUGH CRAPPY COLORFUL 3-D ANIMATION! IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE A MOVIE GOOD. YOU NEED TALENT!!! STORY!!! CHARACTERS!!! NOT CLICHE!!! Painful.
Happy Gilmore My least favorite Sandler movie...
Hard Candy Wow, just... wow. This is a trip of a movie. It kind of turns that whole internet predator phenomenom on its head. I really love movies with tiny ass casts like this one. There's basically just two characters. The predator and the prey. Which is which? Check it out and decide yourself.
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Funny stoner movie.
Harriet the Spy Watchable if you're a ten year old girl.
Harry and the Hendersons Dumb.
Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone Okay, the book is obviously better.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Ditto.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Ditto.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Of all the books, four is one of my least favorite. When reading it, it seemed like the whole story just dragged on from the boring quidditch Super Bowl to the three tasks that of course Harry is going to accomplish... not a whole lot screamed out excitement. The ending of course was the pay off, with events that effect the rest of the series and several other things being revealed. The movie is a whole different story. I think I like this one the best of all four, whereas Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite of the first four books. Everything has been brought vibrantly to life, from the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students to Mad-Eye Moody's bad-assery. While the first three were decent retellings of the novels, Goblet of Fire is a solid stand-alone movie as well.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix A great adaptation of my favorite book so far. This movie doesn't seem to get distracted with itself like some in the past. There is a solid narrative straight through and I appreciated that. HIGHLIGHT FOR SPOILERS The one let down is how downplayed Sirius' death is at the end. He's killed by Bellatrix. Harry flips out. Voldemort vs. Dumbledore. Happy cheery walk into the forest. The situations in the book were so well done I cried my eyes out when I read it. I cried for the first time in my adult life. Everything involving the present Sirius gave him. The hope of his return then shot down by Nearly Headless Nick. These were things I was looking forward too. I can sort of see why they weren't in the movie but if I was Sirius, I'd feel jipped.
Haunting, The (remake) Dumb...
Heavenly Creatures Intense. A journey to say the least.
Heavy Metal Haha... this movie has animated boobies. The voice cast is impressive.
Hellboy Fun comic book movie with a colorful main character.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army Amazing special effects and creature make-up. The black market scene has some shit that beats all the prequels in believability, hands down. Cool story. I like the gas guy. It's awesome this movie got made. Too bad a week later Dark Knight came out and this puppy probably drowned. Looks like a third is gonna be made some day. Bring it on, baby.
Hellraiser Great horror movie.
Hellraiser 2: Hellbound Shitty sequal.
Hellraiser 3: Hell On Earth Shitty third installment.
Hellraiser 4: Bloodline Poor fourth installment.
Hellraiser 5: Inferno Okay movie with no continuity with the first.
Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker Crap, yet just as watchable as the others... Once that is.
Hercules A nice Disney movie.
High Fidelity An honest love story with great comedic edge. The characters feel real, John Cusack's especially.
Highlander Solid fantasy movie, terrific soundtrack. Queen!
Highlander 2: The Quickening Pure shit. Doesn't make sense with the first.
Hills Have Eyes, The I was really surprised by how this movie unfolded. I really disliked Texas Chainsaw Massacre and from the beginning I was worried that this was going to be a carbon copy. Not sure which came first, but whatev... What this movie does right is that it makes you care about the characters and the characters are a lot more believable/fleshed out. The movie isn't one big long chase scene and the end is great. It says a lot more than just "family gets terrorized by crazy mountain people." The very end is kinda unfulfilling. The "alternate ending" was what I wanted but maybe Wes Craven didn't want to leave his audience with that warm fuzzy feeling. Papa Jup's gang weren't just crazy lunatics, they were animals. Viscious and sly. The family was admittedly annoying most of the time but the males didn't make me want to shoot myself in the head... Plus the baby, wow... Kinda outta left field but it makes the characters richer.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Funny and interesting satire. The cast is pretty good. Seemed like a lot was omitted from the book, though I've never read it. Seemed too short for such an epic journey.
Hobbit, The A great, nearly 100% faithful adaptation of the classic J.R.R. Tolkien novel.
Hocus Pocus This is a perfect Halloween movie. It's got excitement, fun and a great storyline. The cast is excellent, too. Sarah and Alison are effing FINE, as well.
Holes A fun kids movie starring Shia LeBeuf, a great effing actor.
Hollow Man Doesn't live up to its potential.
Home Alone Nostalgic? or genuinly good? Which ever, I watch it yearly.
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York After watching the first, you HAVE to watch the sequal which is just as good if not better.
Home Alone 3 Pure shit.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Great kids adventure movie. Interestingly, the original trailer for this movie gave me insomnia as a kid because I feared I would shrink if my feet touched the "magic shrinking dust" that small goblins placed at the end of my bed. I was fucked up...
Honey, I Blew Up the Kid Meh...
Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves Great parents adventure movie where the kids are all "Muagh muagh muagh." Just as good as the original.
Honeymoon in Vegas Meh...
Hook Rufio! Rufio! I like the story and the cast is pretty solid.
Hope Floats Sandra Bulloch is effing smoking piping hot. The story is chick-flickish but watchable.
Hot Chick, The Funny.
House Arrest Nice cast and good dynamic between the kids and the parents.
House of 1000 Corpses Solid horror movie. The end had me genuinly scared/breathing heavily, etc.
House of Wax Solid horror slasher flick with a pretty sweet gimmick. Wax. When the one dude started peeling the boyfriend's face off... Man, stop it! But it was sweet in a sick way...
House on Haunted Hill, The Black/white...
House on Haunted Hill, The (remake) I like how colorful it was remade. Forgive the pun.
Hours, The It's not really that shitty but I think I'd like it more if I was a lesbian or suicidal.
Howl's Moving Castle One of Miyazaki's best. The animation is wonderful, the story is terrific and the english voice cast is great.
Hulk, The I liked it. Not enough Hulk and not enough monsters for him to fight but if a sequal is made it will be great I think.
Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Meh... Disney.